Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

Dumbass, Party of ME!

So.

Last night, I sent a special friend of mine some naughty pictures of yours truly via email. This friend has 2 email addresses and I'm never sure which one is the primary as I've received email from both - so I used both email addresses. One of them is spelled remarkably similar to another person's email address, but I'll get to that momentarily...

Within a few minutes, the email bounced back with a message from my antivurus/firewall whozeywhatsit declaring the email undeliverable. It was stored in my sent folder as sent, so I assumed it went anyway and left it at that. Earlier this evening, almost a full 24 hours after the fact, I get a text message from special friend telling me that the email never got to his inbox - and the person I'd said I copied it to was not his other address. Meaning I sent them to someone thinking it was him, but it wasn't him...

*Don't panic, Brad... DO NOT PANIC. For fuck's sake, stop laughing and find out who you sent the pictures to!!!

So I go into my email program and look cringingly into my sent folder to find out who I sent pictures of my junk to in all my nekkid glory.

It was my current client's 60+ year old WIFE. No, I'm not even kidding.

I tried to call her immediately, the entire time I was hearing the phone ring in my ear thinking about how it was sent 24 hours prior, no way it would have bounced from her also - I'm never that lucky. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. She's totally going to insist they stop doing business with me. This is SO fucking stupid of me, how could I make a fuck up that epic so carelessly???

...ring...ring...ring... No answer...

Finally I sent ANOTHER email, with the subject "PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY AND DISREGARD ANY PREVIOUS UNOPENED EMAILS FROM ME". In it I wrote:
I tried to call you at the store and apparently it was too late as you had already left and I didn't have your home number.
I owe you an apology. I emailed some questionable pictures under the subject "Careful - these are naughty!" to someone and I think I may have copied you on the email completely on accident. If you have received this email and it is as of yet unopened, please delete it. This was an error on my part and if in fact you received this email I offer my profound apologies for it and any offended feelings you may have as a result.
I cannot apologize enough for this error in judgment on my part, and am deeply sorry if I have offended you.

Sincerely,
Brad

I've done what I could, and unless she replied or called me back I was at the mercy of time until I could call first thing in the morning. I ate dinner with D and our friend Adam, all of us having a good laugh about this, and then came to check email to see if she'd responded - lo and behold, she had...
Relax, we didn't get it..........but, need to ask you a question...every since you were working on my email account...my printer will not work...it will do everything but, print text from the computer....any suggestions?

Is this ridiculously funny or is it just me?

Adam asked if I was horrified by what I'd done, and I said no - I am not embarrassed by much, but I'd be sad if I had offended her as I really like her.

Still, it's pretty funny.
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