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Who Wants Crackers? 
11th-Jul-2008 01:55 pm
Student Who Took Religious Icon Eucharist Wafer A Goddamned Cracker Getting Death Threats
(Fox Orlando, as well as multiple links in post)

Death threats. Srsly.
Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn’t eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

Catholics worldwide became furious.

Webster’s friend, who didn’t want to show his face, said he took the Eucharist, to show him what it meant to Catholics.

Webster gave the wafer back, but the Catholic League, a national watchdog organization for Catholic rights claims that is not enough.

“We don’t know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was,” said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. “However, if anything were to qualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it.”

We just expect the University to take this seriously,” she added “To send a message to not just Mr. Cook but the whole community that this kind of really complete sacrilege will not be tolerated.”

Webster just wants all of this to go away. Especially now that he feels his life is in danger.

University officials said, that as for right now, Webster Cook is not in trouble. If anyone or any group wants to file a formal complaint with the University through the student judicial system, they can.

It that happens, Webster will go through a hearing either in front of an administrative panel or a panel of his peers.
Oh, where do I even begin. Let me go ahead and get some feedback on this abject bullshit fucktardery from some others. First, the wonderful and amazing PZ Myers gets the first take in his post IT'S A GODDAMNED CRACKER!. This consequently caused the big vein in that fat fuck Bill Donohue's head to pop, elliciting this response from Jesus' self appointed microcephalic fuck puppet and mouthpiece for the unbelievably hypocritical Catholic League, but not before calling the act of taking a cracker from church an outright terrorist action holding Jesus hostage. No really, follow the link - I couldn't come up with that on my own. PZ has already fired back a response. Jesus General weighs in:
In the first day alone, Myers received:
39 pieces of personal hate mail of varying degrees of literacy...Four of them have included death threats, a personal one day record. Thirty-four of them have demanded that I be fired. Twenty-five of them have told me to desecrate a copy of the Koran, instead, or in some similar way offend Muslims.
Being that I'm exceptionally virulent in my position against the Catholic church, I really wished they'd lay off the crackers and get more serious about all of the kid fucking. 'Cause ya know, that's a metric fuckton more important than crackers ever will be. It won't happen though, because their leaders are fucking stupid and full of shit that way.

dancewithoutme gets the last word in a post I want you all to read as well. I'm thinking chili dogs for dinner here as well!
11th-Jul-2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
That's nothin', Catholics. When I was in High School, I absconded with several hosts and ejaculated on them. Where are my death threats, huh?
11th-Jul-2008 06:26 pm (UTC) - Sacrilicious!
Yes, but did you eat them after the sacramental orgasmic blessing sauce was added, either for flavor, for blasphemy, or for your own amusement?
11th-Jul-2008 09:23 pm (UTC) - Re: Sacrilicious!
Oh, they were eaten, but I'm not saying by whom.
11th-Jul-2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
Why, your reward will come in the afterlife...
Don't mess with the Jesus - or, more accurately, the wafer-lovin' masses.
11th-Jul-2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
Um, not to take away from the seriousness of death threats and the plain foolishness of taking all of the symbolic stuff seriously, but how did this get out to the newspapers and TV news vipers sources?
11th-Jul-2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
2 words - Catholic League.
11th-Jul-2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
Who told them?
11th-Jul-2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Clearly someone from within the church the 'incident' took place in, otherwise it is anyone's guess. I think it's most likely a church member once the word got out about it in the community/church body.
11th-Jul-2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
So, then, it was the church people who created the scandal.
11th-Jul-2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
Crazy! I really dont get it at all of all the problems in the world and people get bent out of shape over this. Wish Catholics had the same reaction when their church leaders were allowing little boys and girls be raped by Priest. Priest in my area accused of abuse were sent death threats they were protected.

He should have eaten the wafer they are yummy LOL when I was an alter boy I ate a whole tube of them, also the polish have this sheet of wafer made from the same stuff called oplatek and I used to steal those and eat them too.

Isnt the Catholic League just Bill Donohue??
11th-Jul-2008 06:55 pm (UTC)
motherfucking crazy fucking shit that drives me outta my fucking head.
11th-Jul-2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
I ate cheese and crackers last night...I wonder if that could be considered a hate crime?

Fucking catholic church. I completely agree with your opinion on them.
11th-Jul-2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
Depends on what kind of cheese.
11th-Jul-2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
11th-Jul-2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
White or yellow? Sharp or mild? Details, woman! We need details!
11th-Jul-2008 10:33 pm (UTC)
Yellow sharp :)
11th-Jul-2008 10:38 pm (UTC)
Well, then since it was yellow, it was probably not foreign, so we can assume you're not a terrorist, at least. And because of my personal fondness for sharp cheddar, I would hate to see you consigned to the lake of fire or Jesse Helms's butthole. I think we can assume you are one of God's chosen in this case.
11th-Jul-2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Dude that could have been like Jesus' finger or something...
11th-Jul-2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
I could see this if it were an Oreo, Thin Mints or something from the Keeblers but for a nasty little cracker? C'mon! What's next, stealing the sacramental "wine" as a terrorist act? *shakes head, drinks holy water, farts on a pew*
(Deleted comment)
11th-Jul-2008 10:20 pm (UTC)
"Bludda Christ, cuppa salvation"
11th-Jul-2008 10:12 pm (UTC)
When I was a little girl, my village grandmother would take home some of the Eucharist Bread for me (it's just bread in the version of Christianity we have in Bulgaria, no special wafer or whatever). She took it with the priest's permission, and none of the local Christians thought she was doing something wrong.
In my case it was home-made bread made by the village's best baker, and it tasted real good. And nobody believed it was ACTUALLY the body of Christ (the mere though of THAT makes me nauseous, I admit). And I wasn't even a Christian then because it was still the Communist Era, and I was taught at school to be an atheist, and a very arrogant one at that. Yet those Christians didn't think it a sacrilege to share their Eucharist bread with me. Well, there was something called humility which was supposed to be a Christian virtue, and there was something like "Thou shalt not kill", so sending dead threats doesn't sound very Christian to me.
All right, he returned their consecrated wafer, which they believe to actually be a part of Christ's body, so what is the whole fuss about now?
"Holding Jesus hostage"? LOL!

11th-Jul-2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
and this is what the church decides to put all of it's attention on. *shakes head* it's not like their are more important things to worry over.
12th-Jul-2008 02:16 am (UTC)
Oh god wry. You know, I know so many sensible Catholics, even some awesome nuns who have been to prison thanks to humanitarian acts like protesting the School of Americas and gay rights protests, but these fucks always are around doing moronic shit like this. If only they could all spontaneously combust.
12th-Jul-2008 03:48 am (UTC) - fond memories

I have fond memories of sneaking into the school chapel with a friend who turned me on to where the snack crackers were hidden.
We came. We grabbed. We ate.

14th-Jul-2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
It's a...... cracker. A fucking cracker! I'd agree that need to be worrying more abou the kid fucking that a damn cracker
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