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27th-May-2008 10:40 am
The strangest thing just happened.

I was thinking yesterday that next month will be 22 years ago that my childhood best friend Staci committed suicide and 8 years ago my adult best friend Shane died suddenly from an accidental overdose. They've been on my mind a lot lately and I've been feeling a bit bluer than normal about it. I'm watching an episode of Six Feet Under to boot when I happened to notice something moving in my peripheral vision. I scanned the room for a dust bunny or something moving across the concrete floor of the loft, but instead was greeted by a yellow butterfly! I have no idea how it could have gotten in here, we haven't had the windows open in months and the door to the loft opens into an enclosed hallway.

It disappeared into the guestroom and I couldn't find it for a while, but when I came over to my computer desk it was sitting on the "S" key of my keyboard. I picked it up carefully and took it to the window, and with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat that is still there, blew it two kisses and sent it on to the wind.

It flew away and then came back to the windowpane and is sitting on the window sill as I type this. I don't know what it means if it even means anything at all, but it makes me happy.
27th-May-2008 02:52 pm (UTC)
Sometimes you have those moments that mean something to no one else but you-but that doesn't make them any less moving. You're lucky if other people can comprehend what's happened and why it means so much to you.

You're still lucky if others don't.

What matters is that at the moment when you needed a gentle reminder that Staci and Shane are ok somewhere, you found what you needed.

Thanks for sharing, ;-)
27th-May-2008 03:12 pm (UTC) - Yes, exactly.
I couldn't have said it any better.
27th-May-2008 03:26 pm (UTC) - Re: Yes, exactly.
28th-May-2008 02:28 am (UTC) - Re: Yes, exactly.

How's Mom doing? Tell her I love her, please! Also tell the same to Joel & Sage - and know that I love you too, sweetness.
28th-May-2008 02:35 am (UTC) - Re: Yes, exactly.
She's doing good. She's feeling somewhat better, but still gets worn out easily, so she keeps trying to do too much. :P I think she may need someone to come tell her to behave. *shameless*

I thought about you a lot today. You know where to find me if you need or want anything. Including someone to come tell YOU to behave. ;)
27th-May-2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
27th-May-2008 04:19 pm (UTC)
Absolutely - thanks for your insights & compassion.
28th-May-2008 02:20 am (UTC)
I've thought this since I first friended you, Nicholas - but you really are one of the sweetest men alive and I love and adore you. Thank you for being so thoughtful, my beautiful friend!
28th-May-2008 03:03 am (UTC)
Awww! *blush*

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