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27th-May-2008 10:40 am
The strangest thing just happened.

I was thinking yesterday that next month will be 22 years ago that my childhood best friend Staci committed suicide and 8 years ago my adult best friend Shane died suddenly from an accidental overdose. They've been on my mind a lot lately and I've been feeling a bit bluer than normal about it. I'm watching an episode of Six Feet Under to boot when I happened to notice something moving in my peripheral vision. I scanned the room for a dust bunny or something moving across the concrete floor of the loft, but instead was greeted by a yellow butterfly! I have no idea how it could have gotten in here, we haven't had the windows open in months and the door to the loft opens into an enclosed hallway.

It disappeared into the guestroom and I couldn't find it for a while, but when I came over to my computer desk it was sitting on the "S" key of my keyboard. I picked it up carefully and took it to the window, and with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat that is still there, blew it two kisses and sent it on to the wind.

It flew away and then came back to the windowpane and is sitting on the window sill as I type this. I don't know what it means if it even means anything at all, but it makes me happy.
(Deleted comment)
28th-May-2008 03:08 am (UTC) - Re: Beautiful
This was my own personal voicemail - I cannot wait to call Cecelia and tell her about this, it was just incredible!

I love you, Monica!
28th-May-2008 06:28 am (UTC)
I was watching an episode of Northern Exposure and this quote by the character Marilyn seemed so appropriate for this post so I wanted to share it because I too have had many sad anniversaries this month and this gave me some comfort.

Chief Seattle said "Our dead never forget the beautiful world that gave them being. They still love it's winding rivers, it's great mountains, and sequestered vales. And they watch in the dearest affection, over the lonely hearted living...and often return to visit and comfort them.

Hugs my friend.
4th-Jun-2008 01:49 am (UTC)
I love that, it's beautiful!

Thank you babydoll!
3rd-Jun-2008 10:17 pm (UTC) - wow
Remember the picture they put on her memorial... wasn't she wearing a yellow shirt? I could be wrong. It just sticks out. I remember her beautiful smile and her beautiful heart. I also remember how ... if she could ... she'd flutter in to your heart and give you a smile when you needed one.

Love you more than words.
4th-Jun-2008 01:48 am (UTC) - Re: wow
It was that crazy hot pink one and the necklace she wore had those chunky wooden beads in the shape of animals - remember? The yellow was the Duran Duran jacket she ALWAYS wore you were thinking of.

Love you back just as much!
5th-Jun-2008 01:53 am (UTC)
Wow.......I too was thinking about Staci just the other day. As well as a few of my friends, from Smiths Station, that were killed the following year. Sometimes I become envious.....sometimes.

Actually, 2 were killed, one committed suicide. I don't know if you remember when I wrote a poem about his suicide and it was published in "The Ledger & Enquirer". Shortly after that, you and I worked there on the newest addition to that paper. "The Teen Beat" or something like that. We covered the major issues that were happening to the teens, there, in Phenix City and Columbus. Teen suicide, pregnancy, eating disorders and so on. Weird....I was just thinking about our friends, our feelings back then, and our past.....

5th-Jun-2008 02:56 am (UTC)
I remember all of that - it seems really far away now, doesn't it?

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