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Nothing's Sacred 
7th-May-2008 12:17 am
Inverted Cross
Someone is selling what they claim, in horrid grammar, is the cross that Jesus Christ died on. Jesus even autographed it. On eBay, of course. I could not make this up, y'all:

We have recently discovered the wooden cross that Jesus Christ died on. It was recovered and burried in a tomb in Jerusalem, Israel.

This wooden cross is the only proof of Jesus Christ dieing for our sins. Within this cross has Jesus Christ bloodline engraved and soaked in the wood.

Since the day we bought this from Israelites I been having dreams of Jesus Christ Returning to earth and has been blessing me with fortune and fame.

Im only selling this to once and for all prove Jesus Christ is real and did sacrifice himself for our sins.

God Bless

Starting bid is US $1,000.

Pics behind the cut -

7th-May-2008 04:18 am (UTC)
He....honestly thinks...it would be engraved...in ENGLISH?

Of course. God's holy language. Ours.

Just when I think I've seen the limit.
7th-May-2008 04:21 am (UTC)
He needs to have a better grasp on his OWN English, frankly.

Well, this IS a Christian® Nation after all!
(Deleted comment)
7th-May-2008 04:23 am (UTC)
And dimensionally accurate to boot! Wanna guess where the nails probably came from? I'm thinking Home Depot - Bernie Marcus and his evil sneaky Jew conglomerate strike again!
7th-May-2008 04:29 am (UTC)
*snortgiggle* So, when I report this as a "counterfeit autograph", that's the correct category, right? :)
7th-May-2008 04:33 am (UTC)

just... ew.
7th-May-2008 04:39 am (UTC)
Christ was a title, not a last name. If he had signed anything, it would have not been "Jesus Christ" in fucking Anglicised version of a Greek name.
7th-May-2008 04:44 am (UTC) - LOL!!!!
The name's Christ...Jesus Christ...
7th-May-2008 04:41 am (UTC)

organic material + almost 2000 years = not that
7th-May-2008 04:43 am (UTC)
JESUS CHRIST! IN ENGLISH, NO DOUBT! DO they really make people this fucking stupid? A cross! Intact! With a signature in ENGLISH! What the fuck happened to INRI or what-have-you?

And I love Jesus' punk rock scrawl; he did it with a pen knife. LOL!!!!! It looks like something you'd see on an old wooden school desk in the inner city public schools - circa 30 AD! HAW HAW HAW!!!!

I cannot stop laughing!!!!!!!! Oh, my side! FUCK, already!

"Since the day we bought this from Israelites I been having dreams of Jesus Christ Returning to earth and has been blessing me with fortune and fame."

I hope he comes back and pisses in your mouth.
(Deleted comment)
7th-May-2008 04:46 am (UTC)
Oh, my god, that's hilarious!
7th-May-2008 05:12 am (UTC)
I love this.
7th-May-2008 05:18 am (UTC)
Jesus. What will He think of next?
(Deleted comment)
7th-May-2008 08:25 am (UTC)
Yes. Yes they can.
7th-May-2008 08:28 am (UTC)
I'm speechless, and yet not surprised.
7th-May-2008 10:41 am (UTC)
The best part is where Jesus autographed it.

"So. This is what I'm going to be nailed to and die on? Hmm.

[scratching wood with a nail] 'JESUS.. WUZ... HERE.'

All right, let's get this done!"
7th-May-2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
[scratching wood with a nail] 'JESUS.. WUZ... HERE.'

That made me ROFL. And I'm at work. Thanks, I needed that.
7th-May-2008 11:26 am (UTC)
Aside from all of the other obvious...oh, forget it.


That was my first real belly laugh of the day. My neighbors must think I'm nuts.
7th-May-2008 11:29 am (UTC)
the Israelites sold it to him? first of all...i doubt that the *chosen people* of god would sell something that sacred to their religion. secondly....starting bid only 1000??????pulessse
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