Brad Smith (jesus_h_biscuit) wrote,
Brad Smith
jesus_h_biscuit

On This Season Of The L Word

After Sunday's episode (SE05E05: Lookin' At You, Kid), I'm so taken by this series that I seriously wish they were real characters and that I was close personal friends with many of them. Except Jenny, I've grown to hate that cunt.

Bette Porter
You always surprise yourself the most when you stop being a control freak and let things happen organically. Yeah, the sex with Jodi is amazing - which is why she needs to be a fuck-buddy and not a partner. You belong with Tina and your daughter - you know it, she knows it, hell - EVERYONE knows it. Get on with it, get your family and your home back in order, and remember that you don't know as much as you let on.

Jenny Schecter
You were so great until season 4. As of now, you're a total cunt. If you were given a really big enema or a colonic, you're fit into a fucking matchbox. Get right, or die in a fire you whore.

Alice Pieszecki
All the young girls love Alice
Tender young Alice they say
If I give you my number
Will you promise to call me
Wait till my husband's away...
I love that song, but now when I hear it I always think of you. Makes me wonder if Ilene Chaiken chose your name from this Elton John ditty. Okay. We would totally be BFF's, you and I. I'm not 100% on you outing that basketball player the way you did, though. I think if you're going to out someone because they're a complete hypocrite and lying to others in a clearly harmful way, confront them directly first and make it clear that if they don't atone and do the right thing by being honest that you're going to make an example out of them. Being in the closet is one thing - being in the closet and talking a lot of shit about other homos, ...no baby... Not with people who have taken that shit from straight folks for years. I'm not condoning outing necessarily, but I'm not condemning it either.

Tasha Williams
My GOD but you're beautiful, woman! You remind me of a younger Angela Bassett. RAWR... I dig you, Tash. Please try to work it out with Alice.

Tina Kennard
Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone should be, Tina. You've done this HOW many times with Bette already? Also, stop taking shit from Jenny.

Kit Porter
I'm proud of you, Kit. Keep taking no prisoners, and get your ass back in the recording studio.

Max Sweeney
You haven't gotten as far as you have by playing by everyone else's rules. Keep it up, and fuck what anyone else thinks.

Helena Peabody
I'm proud of you for being brave and making the most of a bad situation, but never again take the easy way out. You didn't go through a complete life-180 to not learn that. Do your thing, then get your ass back to LA - your friends need you.

Shane McCutcheon
We're so much alike in so many ways, and I identify with you more than anyone else on the show - but for fuck's sake, Shane. ENOUGH WITH THE DRAMA! Every bit of trouble you end up in is because you think too much with your clit, and where has that gotten you besides laid? Either stop trying for bigger things if all you're going to do is fuck others over, or be more than you've been. It's not your nature, it's your problem.

I love and miss you both, Dana and Carmen!
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