Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 We know exactly where one cow with Mad Cow Disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.