So, not only did I have the fantastic, awesome, amazing butterfly visit yesterday morning, but I also got the web contract I was hoping for! That's not even the best thing, either. As I was leaving the meeting, literally 5 minutes after getting the web contract, I walk outside of the business meeting and saw two guys that looked familiar moving furniture into a U-Haul parked on Broadway behind our parking spot. One guy looked remarkably like Todd (Jennifer Nettles' ex-husband) and so we drove back around and parked again so I could go see if it was him. Lo and behold, it was him. He was helping another mutual friend (Bob) move from an apartment over Picasso Pizza to one further down into the Historic District on Broadway. It was great seeing him again, as I haven't in quite a while and have talked to neither of them since they split up. We exchanged phone numbers and I called him last night to play a quick game of catch-up and to let him know directly from me that as far as I'm concerned, there is no reason why we aren't still friends. We talked for a while and it was great to get reacquainted with him. He leaves next month for a contracting fulfillment in Afghanistan, and I'll talk to him a few more times before then and will be sending him care packages when he's there. He was very happy and bordered on overwhelmed not only that I found him, but that I called and was still a loyal friend even though I knew Jenn long before I ever met him.

I know that often times when a couple divorce that people divide into one of two loyalty camps, but that's usually based on who was friends with whom first and whether or not the split was an amicable one. It is not just because of Jennifer's celebrity and the scrutiny it places on her private life and those around her by association that I would never post personal details about her private life - I wouldn't do that because I hold her to the same standards I hold all my close friends to. I worked too hard earning the trust of my friends to risk compromising their faith in me. All I will say is that contrary to speculation and rumor and lies that circulate all over gossip sites, magazines, and message boards, their divorce was completely amicable and they remain on friendly terms with one another - that is all anyone who doesn't know them personally need know.

Best day I've had in ages!

This is Jennifer's first (and only, really) solo video, recorded during a show at the Variety Playhouse in Little Five Points, Atlanta, GA. It was a stellar show, I miss JNB shows. Enjoy!

Just Might (Make Me Believe) - Sugarland
(lyrics & music by Kristen Hall)

Video:


I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide
Bills on the table gettin' higher and higher
They just keep on comin', there ain't no end in sight
I'm just holding on tight...
I've got someone who loves me more then words can say
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face
Still it's hard to find faith..

But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave You just might make me believe

Its just day to day tryin' to make ends meet
What id give for an address on easy street
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind
Leave my troubles behind...

I used to believe in us
When times got tough
Lately I'm afraid that even love is not enough

But if you can can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave you just might make me
Oh, you just might make me
You just might make me believe

OMG - I am watching my good friend Jennifer and her band Sugarland onstage singing with Bon Jovi - CMT Crossroads, CHECK IT OUT!!!!!

I just got off the phone with Jennifer maybe two minutes ago. Her father in law died recently, it was very sudden. I didn't ask her for the details, she said that Todd was taking it very hard and they were trying to keep a low profile. This is why Sugarland didn't play at the Dogwood Festival, and in part why I haven't heard anything from or of her for a while. Keep them in your thoughts and send them good energy.

I've just finished reading Dream Brother ~ The Lives And Music Of Jeff & Tim Buckley.



I'm relatively wordless for the experience, save to say that I eel a profound sense of loss and sadness. Any and every fan of Jeff Buckley should read this book.

Conversely, I'm going to make copies of Grace and other works by him to give to Jennifer when I see her next month. I've told her about my obsession with his music, and promised her I would make her copies and write down lyrics of his songs. I think that she would relate well to his music, if not to cover herself then to enjoy on it's own. I'm making duplicates for Wes and Scott, and Brad. They are all fanatics of music and I know that their exposure to his music is limited at best - if in fact they have heard any of it at all. Scott told me several months ago that he'd heard of him, but no actually experienced the music for himself.

I feel now a bigger sense of urgency towards Jennifer recording a live album soon, I told her as much after our last dinner together before a show here at the beginning of the summer. The new CD Rewind does a great job of conveying how the older songs are now interpreted live, but there isn't the same sense of spontaneous energy with it as with live shows - which is to be expected.

I remember the first time I had heard about her writing this new love song, something she'd never attempted before. We were sitting on the deck behind the Tap, just the two of us, having a drink and playing catch-up. It was just after the split with Cory, and we had planned on this time for her to explain everything that had happened when she told him to the events that led up to it. We talked at length about all of that drama, and then I asked her about this new "love song" I'd heard rumors about. She gave me that coy smile and said "It's called 'The Story Of Your Bones'." She explained a bit of the song to me, and asked me not to look her in theface and make eye contact with her when she sang it later, as she was sure she'd break into tears and that was not conducive to singing. I agreed to stare at her feet during that song. When she started it later that evening, she motioned down front for Maggie and I to not look directly in her face and I complied. She then began singing with Scott's piano and I stood there at the foot of the stage and bawled for the duration of the song. I knew what every word meant, having the friend's privilege of knowing her life stories that inspired the lyrics. A month before the album Story Of Your Bones was released, they played it for me. Jenn hugged and kissed me and told me she wanted me to hear it. I'm still not the same as I was before that.

The first time she ever played What You Signed Up For live, it was at the Tap in Columbus. I was standing with her former manager Tom when she started talking about this new song she had written. Coach began that pounding, throbbing drum intro and she relaxed her posture and said to the audience packed into the courtyard, "Do you ever feel like like just throwing up your hands and saying 'Fuck It, I quit!'?" Astonished, as she had made no mention to me of a new song, she looked out into the crowd and saw me there with my mouth hanging wide open and smiled at me and then stuck her tongue out. I asked Tom "What's this all about?" His reply came to me as equally shocked when he answered, "I have NO idea - I've never heard this!" (Who knew then that she would later write "Shift" with him in mind). It is moments like these as a friend that I hold so dearly, and I have six years worth of them - which leaves me feeling more honored than you could know.

Had a great night last night. I'll just tell the story as it happened.

Yesterday afternoon, Maggie, Shannon, & myself were playing around in the kitchen at home - dancing, singing, and downloading MP3's of hairbands from the 80's & 90's and being generally silly. Maggie told me all about her day and we tried to make a game plan for the evening. Maggie's brother Ward, who is one of the funniest people ever called - he and his girlfriend Tammy (not to be confused with Laurie) were coming down from Athens for the Jennifer Nettles Band show. Soon Damien called me, his mom (my newest friend) needed my neck massaging services so I went to his house and helped her out. We left from there and went to The Tap to meet Jennifer. Damien has been eagerly awaiting meeting her for a while now, so I wanted him to have that opportunity before the place got mobbed. Jenn was very excited to meet him as well, and they hugged each other immediately - which pleased me no end.

We hung out with her for a bit before the band set up their equiptment onstage, then we all headed down to Rosie's for dinner. That was an interesting experience, to say the least. Actually, that could be another entry altogether - but I digress. Having dinner with the band was another way I figured Damien could get to know Jennifer & the guys better. She walked with Damien & I back to the Tap and explained to him how she was glad to meet him herself and not just hear about him through email, and about her involvement with Pasac Segundo, and in no uncertain terms told me "Your ass WILL be coming with me next year to Guatemala!".

Eventually our friends showed up to include (but not limited to) chola23712, her fiance Donnie, isis691, wsbsdrewnelson, pandorasparkle, photol, princessqtpi, Damien's good friend Lisa, my household crew sans Nathan, and a host of others I'm too tired to remember at the moment. The show was amazing, as usual - a bit short, but still great. One of the best parts of it was introducing Anjelica to Jenn and watching her reactions to songs and her singing word for word along with Jenn. Aimee & John enjoyed it as well, or so I thought. At this point, it is all a blur. Today is going to be utter hell. It's just now mid morning and already my nerves are fraying. Tonight I get to sleep beside my baby boy and fall into what I hope is a deathless spell and wake up to his sweet face.

SO... Are you all excited about seeing JNB again? JUNE 30th, ATLANTA PRIDE, BABY!!!!! You do not want to miss this show - and it's all ages and free on the top of it! To say nothing of the fact that there will be 100's of 1,000's of people - did I mention that she's opening for a bunch of drag queens?

Damien is helping me with a special journal entry to commemmorate the 5th anniversary of the death of my beloved Jeff Buckley, who died on June 4th, 1997. I'll post that on the appropriate day.

All for now - take care and be well you guys and gals!

Two more weeks and I get to not only see Jennifer again, but I get to introduce her to Damien. He came up to see me at work last night, and Renea and Andrew were here as well hanging out and what not. Every opportunity I got I would look over into his sweet face when he wasn't looking at me, just to study him and make sure that every feature he has would be burned into my memory. That way I could wake up and lie there for a few moments until I got my bearings and have a focus to remind me why my life is so good right now.

I woke up this morning thinking how much better this place (work) would be if we had a shower built in somewhere. I was also thinking how very soon we're going to the Gay Pride march, which is just for fun because I do not believe in the notion of Gay Pride - but that's neither here nor there. Suffice it to say that I am only proud of the things in my life that I've made happen and not the things that just "Are". I'm not proud of being a man or of being white, I just happen to BE those things - being gay is just another thing. Every time I hear some white supremacist spouting off about "White Power", I get disgusted and think "Dude - you need to get fucked in the ass really REALLY hard just one good time and you'll see the error of your ways." That having been said, I'm sincerely looking forward to the season premiere of Oz. Few things please me more than a prison show where an Aryan skinhead type gets porked in the waz against his own will. Not that I'm advocating rape on any level, but the mere idea of this is what I consider "Acceptable Collateral Damage", you know what I'm saying?

Then July 4th rolls around, and before you know it - September 11th, 2002. How are we as a country - as a planet - going to contend with the first anniversary of that? I want to have another candlelight vigil at the Riverwalk again this year. My friends and I last year had one there on the Friday following the 11th, the 15th I think. It was to be just a few people, I asked the news channel across the street to come and plug it to get the word out, so they came down and interviewed me for the 5:00 news and by 6:00 PM there were upwards of 250 people there, all hugging and crying and singing and praying and mourning a collective loss. It felt like what home is supposed to feel like. It made me feel transcendental in a way, I still felt horrific grief - but somehow I gained a sense of faith in humanity because so many people in my own community came together and shared something profoundly personal.

I'd like to do this again, but I want to spend a bit more time getting it organized and letting people know. It would be great to have an ocean of people from this town come together for something like this. Maybe I can get the station involved in some way to sponsor it or something.

Like I always say to those closest to me - I'm never without a cause, and I know for a fact that one person makes a difference.

Anyone interested in pitching in or giving me an idea to help pull this off is welcome to post a reply. I expect you all to be there as well!