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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
100 Things Meme 
2nd-Nov-2007 10:37 pm
  1. When I was a teenager, I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled on a Monday and my braces put on the following Friday.
  2. I was a smoker for 16 years.
  3. My favorite shower gel is Healing Garden Green Tea Therapy, with Bath & Body Works Sea Island Cotton coming in second. They stopped making Cotton Blossom, the bastards. *scowl*
  4. My friends are my family, and it is the best one in the whole world.
  5. I hate Jerry Seinfeld and everything connected to him. That show was so fucking unfunny it defied description.
  6. I cannot understand how anyone could not love the song "Africa" by Toto.
  7. When I die, there will be no funeral. My body will be donated to a medical college for 1 year so that med students may use me for research - then I get cremated and sent home. My ashes will be made into an artificial concrete reef, and I will become a more useful part of the ecosystem.
  8. I am allergic to beets, radishes, and purple onions. Oh - and stupid people. And racism.
  9. I am obsessed with doing things in even numbers, in an OCD kind of way.
  10. I probably cry on average about 3 times a week, but 98% of the time I'm alone when I do it.
  11. When I was a kid, we had a pet monkey named Marty. He was evil, but he didn't live in my closet. I'm serious.
  12. I cannot watch people doing karaoke, it will give me a panic attack.
  13. One of my favorite things to do is grocery shopping.
  14. The first vinyl album I ever bought with my own money was Andy Gibb's "Shadow Dancing", when I was 7 years old.
  15. I want 2 puppies when I have a house with a yard again.
  16. I will not eat oysters or mussels ever again.
  17. I was pronounced clinically dead for a little over 2 minutes when I was 25, following my first lung collapse and cardiopulmonary arrest.
  18. As a teenager, I lost a bet and had to skate through a Sears wearing only my skates and whitey-tighties.
  19. I had to write my own music part for my 6th grade band Christmas concert, as there was no music written for xylophone and bells. I played them both during that concert, as well as the quads, a trap set, and the timpanis.
  20. I self published some of my poetry with friends in a book compilation at the age of 23, because DIY is always better than rejection.
  21. I think Star Trek is about the most boring thing I've ever attempted to watch.
  22. I love to pee outside - it just feels better and ultimately is more satisfying.
  23. Rain makes me very sleepy.
  24. When I shower, I always turn off the water when I'm soaping up & scrubbing myself so I don't waste water.
  25. Like bubba, I don't really like cheesecake.
  26. My earliest memory is of walking barefoot on broken glass at the age of 4 and cutting my feet pretty badly.
  27. I have had 9 surgeries - 3 lung, 5 feet, and one on my right hand.
  28. I fell out of our backyard tree when I was around 8 years old, headfirst into a chain-link fence. It carved a section of the bone out of my forehead, which you can still feel. I got up immediately and continued playing, with blood pouring from my head - when my Mama called me in for dinner, she wigged out completely.
  29. I love Cadbury Creme eggs at Eastertime.
  30. I rarely sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time before waking up at least for a little while.
  31. I played basketball for my school as a kid and attended a basketball camp with the Harlem Globetrotters at the local YMCA. The best part was when Curly chucked a medicine ball at me and knocked me on my ass, and I couldn't stop laughing - the other kids piled on me and everyone was cracking up for no less than 15 minutes because we couldn't get it together!
  32. I've never seen a white Christmas, but am going to Columbus, Ohio & Chicago, Illinois for Christmas and have a good chance of it this year.
  33. When I was younger I was convinced that I was going to die before I turned 30 years old. I was so obsessed by this notion that I even had dreams about it. On the night of my 30th birthday (as I was going to sleep) I realized that it hadn't happened and I was disappointed in a strange way for giving it that much energy.
  34. I love cake, but do not like frosting.
  35. It really is the little things.
  36. I have a cousin whose name is Madonna.
  37. When I was a kid, I had a pen-pal named Lisa. She was a mouseketeer for a while, but became most famous for playing Blair Warner on The Facts Of Life. Now she's just crazy and beats the shit out of her kids.
  38. I love hot and spicy food. I ate my first whole jalapeno at the age of 5 with some fried chicken, and LOVED it.
  39. I love bowling, but I'm really bad at it and after 2 games my wrist hurts me pretty bad.
  40. This made me laugh so hard I peed a little bit.
  41. My name is Brad, my nickname is Jude. I respond to either and am called by both.
  42. I despise 95% of rap music, and the only rap album I've ever actually bought and enjoyed was Ice-T's "O.G. Original Gangster". I met him after the first Lollapalooza, and he invited me and my friends to a show in Athens the following night with his band Body Count. It was a fucking amazing show. He's a really great man and frighteningly intelligent.
  43. I have never willingly farted in the presence of another human being.
  44. I love riding steel roller coasters, but will not ride a wooden coaster ever again. I was riding the Scream Machine at Six Flags Over Georgia when it jumped track 3/4 of the way up the main hill. I was about 9 years old at the time.
  45. Being part of arie & zarchanalin's wedding and meeting many LJ friends IRL for the first time was one of the best weekends of my life.
  46. I want Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown! & Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (And Don't Come Back) to be released on DVD.
  47. I began the evening of my 21st birthday in a now defunct Atlanta bar called the Stein Club and woke up on the morning after on top of the bar in the now defunct (but FUN FUN FUN) bar called The Cove, which reeked of stale smoke, beer, poppers, and sweat. I remember absolutely nothing of this entire time, so I'm reasonably certain I had a lot of fun.
  48. If I am ever the possessor of millions of $$$, I will be 80% covered in tattooes. I will also have electrolysis, liposuction, and brand new porcelain teeth.
  49. I've attended more funerals of loved ones than I can count. I never want to go to another one - ever.
  50. I used to have dreadlocks, a mohawk, Robert Smith hair, Morrissey hair, and for a time only bangs - long ones - and no other hair on my head. I've kept it cut shorter than 1/4" for the previous 16 years.
  51. Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas is IMHO the best thing Jim Henson ever did.
  52. I always take a colder shower than Damien does if I shower first, that way he has more hot water.
  53. Indoor cats freak me out, I always imagine their paws are covered in pee and poo and litterbox dust and it completely grosses me out. That having been said, daisy_down's cats don't bother me. Nor does Maggie's cat, Martin.
  54. I want to go to Iceland.
  55. My blood family are hard people to like a lot of the time.
  56. I wished I could have sushi and sorbet every day of my life.
  57. I love the 70's band "Bread".
  58. I enjoy watching movies alone in the dark.
  59. My mother is so obsessed with royalty that when a royal dies (including Princess Grace, JFK & Jackie O) she mourns like it were her own family. When Princes Diana died, she insisted that the entire family wear black. The problem with that idea was that the family was at the beach house on vacation. Needless to say, she mourned in black alone. I was saddened by her death as well, but not to that extreme. She has a Diana shrine in her home. No foolin'.
  60. When I eat out, if there is a vegetable plate available on the restaurant's menu, I usually order that.
  61. I get seriously pissed off if I find someone parked in a handicapped spot - and they aren't handicapped. I leave nasty notes on their car, and taunt the hell out of them.
  62. I'm watching Beetle Juice with Damien as I type this, and am also making my grocery list for tomorrow's weekly shopping trip. Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?
  63. As a kid, I loved going to the fair above all else. Something about the smells of the midway, the sounds, the exciting hustle and bustle just made my world alright. I still love the fair and amusement parks.
  64. I love water in motion - rivers, oceans, creeks, waterfalls, that sort of thing. The motion and the sound make me relax, and if I have a problem I can think much more clearly.
  65. The first time I can recall crying at a live show was when I saw the Indigo Girls at the Little 5 Points Pub, not long after they signed to Epic. I think i was about 18 or 19, and they set me off when they played "Left Me A Fool".
  66. I don't care how nasty they are, I love Krystal hamburgers.
  67. I tend to laugh at the most inoportune times - the more inopportune the more I lose my shit.
  68. I miss people a lot and I wish I didn't have to.
  69. I get really angry when people try to pull passive-aggressive bullshit with me.
  70. I'm bipolar, but have been off meds for almost 20 years. Sometimes I think I should still be on them.
  71. I never have flying dreams, but have had terrible falling ones - which is especially fucked up as I am terrified of heights.
  72. I have crushes on discograss, grimmlok, jamesfowler, jongrizzman, mmmblog, pr_bear, and wooferstl.
  73. I will hold a grudge until I die.
  74. I only have 2/3 of my left lung.
  75. My moodswings lately have been pretty wild, but I think a lot of it is just a change in seasons. That tends to make me a bit crazed.
  76. I like Dunkin' Donuts' chocolate & blueberry donuts, but not their glazed ones. I like Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, but not their chocolate or blueberry ones.
  77. I have more gray t-shirts than any other kind.
  78. I love riding on trains.
  79. I enjoy fishing and am pretty good at it. I have also cleaned, prepared, and eaten fish I've caught before.
  80. When I was 12, I had a stomach bug while we were at the beach camping. Before I could get to a bathroom, I managed to puke & shit myself entirely. Thank goodness no one was around as it was very late, so I could shower and get myself cleaned up. For years the mere thought of this gave me great anxiety, but then I reasoned that it was not the worst thing that has ever happened to me and therefore should be let go. Now I almost never think about it and when I do, BFD.
  81. I'm reasonably sure that I'll end up dying from cancer (family history on both sides) or because my big mouth gets me murdered. It doesn't freak me out either way. This is subject to change.
  82. My friend Tony is the person I've known the longest - we've been friends since the 5th grade. 26 years! He's also my oldest crush, and he's never not been gorgeous to me. Click here to see why I think so. He's the best brother I've ever had my whole life, and the son my Mama always wished were hers as well. This was us on his birthday last year, thuggin'. Well, as thuggish as you can be in gingerbread man jammies.
  83. If I believed in luck, I would be one of the luckiest men alive to be surrounded by as much love as I am all of the time.
  84. Despite feeling surrounded my so much love, I feel alone a lot more of the time than I admit.
  85. Sometimes I'm an angry cupcake too.
  86. I actually like doing laundry & ironing clothes, perhaps because I'm really good at it.
  87. The last batch of kimchi I made was the best I've made so far.
  88. Vanity Fair is by far my favorite thing to read on a regular basis.
  89. I think of all language accents in the world, a South African one is the sexiest - Australian comes in second.
  90. I caught a few minutes of a reality show called "I Love New York" a few days ago, and was completely disgusted that people actually watch that fucking bullshit.
  91. Limburger cheese is the DEVIL!
  92. I always look strangers in the eye and smile at them, even if they never smile back. I feel good knowing I may be the only person that does that for them their entire day.
  93. I really wished heroin wasn't addictive or illegal. I'd love to be high again right now. The only way I'd ever do it again were if I were dying from a terminal illness and were purposely ODing, and this is how I'd do it. And should this ever end up happening to me, I really look forward to it. What a way to go!
  94. My friend lightningman35 made my day when he called me a few days ago, even though we didn't talk for very long. But then he's magic like that.
  95. Occasionally I have very fleeting and violent thoughts that shock me, and I have to pause for a moment. They are generally random and meaningless, and almost always a response to being overstimulated.
  96. I'm very even tempered most days, but I go batshit insane when mechanical equipment (particularly computer equipment) doesn't do what it is supposed to do.
  97. I wished I could remember the name of the storybook I had as a very small child, I would sleep with that book like normal kids sleep with a teddy bear.
  98. If you make me angry or upset, I can and will lash out at you - and when I do, I absolutely intend to be mean. It is my least favorite quality in myself, and I have no killswitch once I get going. It's been years since it last happened, but I have actually had anger blackouts with no recollection of what I've said or done. People who have witnessed this have told me it is one of the most frightening things they have ever seen, and that in those moments I behave like a complete madman - which totally unnerves me. I've lost friends over it and caused others to become afraid of me. I cannot see myself at all when that has happened, and therefore have to rely on the word of others as I cannot even imagine myself behaving in such a way.
  99. I was a Tonka boy when I was little, I loved my Tonka dump truck and my Tonka Jeep. I put those things through HELL!
  100. If I think you deserve it, I'll do anything I can to help you get whatever it is you need. I always have.
Comments 
3rd-Nov-2007 02:59 am (UTC)
5. I hate Jerry Seinfeld and everything connected to him. That show was so fucking unfunny it defied description.

I can't say that I hate the guy but I honestly don't get that show. Not even a little bit. There are a few of my friends who think it was the second coming but *shrug* I can't figure it out. It's as if they took MASH, got rid of the funny jokes, the good actors and put it on tv.

17. I was pronounced clinically dead for a little over 2 minutes when I was 25, following my first lung collapse and cardiopulmonary arrest.

For me it was 38 seconds and I don't remember what age I was. I do remember one of the surgeons nearly screeching something like "Get back in your fucking body now!" They didn't believe I heard it but I did. When I imitated the scene (complete with screeching), one of the doctors turned white as a ghost. :)

*Hugs*
3rd-Nov-2007 03:16 am (UTC)
He's just annoying and NOT FUNNY to me.

Wierd, huh?
3rd-Nov-2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
He's just annoying and NOT FUNNY to me.

Agreed on both counts. His voice is very irritating to me which is weird because Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother me at all. :)

Wierd, huh?

Not really. Ever since you posted this, I've found others who admit to not liking Seinfeld.
3rd-Nov-2007 03:07 am (UTC)
WAIT A MINUTE! I stopped at 35...you'll be here in Chicago for CHRISTMAS? WHAT? Will there be a chance we can meet up? Where are you staying?
3rd-Nov-2007 03:15 am (UTC)
Unlikely, I'm afraid. I'll only be there 1/2 a day and that will be to visit family - then we drive back to Georgia. ;-(

There's always a next time, though!
3rd-Nov-2007 03:18 am (UTC)
:( Oh, how I would LOVE to have you guys here for an Italian Christmas!
3rd-Nov-2007 03:17 am (UTC)
Number 98: It's caled being in a fugue state. I know it well.
(Deleted comment)
3rd-Nov-2007 12:05 pm (UTC)
I disagree, yours was VERY interesting!

LOVE that movie!

*senora*

Indeed!
3rd-Nov-2007 04:13 am (UTC)
"One of my favorite things to do is grocery shopping."

do you ever start to dance while grocery shopping if the in house musak is really good and no one is around?
3rd-Nov-2007 04:22 am (UTC)
I do, even if others are around....screw 'em.
3rd-Nov-2007 04:23 am (UTC)
nods:

There was this Kroger in Atlanta that would play great music at night when I shopped. I got totally busted by the store manager busting a move to SaltnPeppa
3rd-Nov-2007 12:06 pm (UTC)
Why wait until no one is around?
3rd-Nov-2007 02:44 pm (UTC)
A cabbage patch move gone awry vs a display of high-stacked tomatoes.
3rd-Nov-2007 04:37 am (UTC)
81. I'm reasonably sure that I'll end up dying from cancer (family history on both sides) or because my big mouth gets me murdered. It doesn't freak me out either way. This is subject to change.

Eh, no one's killed me yet, so I hate to tell ya, but I think it'll be cancer.
3rd-Nov-2007 12:06 pm (UTC)
Tomato tomahto!
3rd-Nov-2007 06:16 am (UTC)
I get seriously pissed off if I find someone parked in a handicapped spot - and they aren't handicapped. I leave nasty notes on their car, and taunt the hell out of them.

How do you know they're not handicapped?
3rd-Nov-2007 12:08 pm (UTC)
No tag notifier, no dashboard thingy, no sign upon 360° inspection that they are legally entitled to park in that spot.
3rd-Nov-2007 01:10 pm (UTC)
How convenient that 2 of your crushes live in the same house :P

(p.s. I hate Seinfeld too. the only good part of that show was Elaine. I FUCKING HATE KRAMER.)
3rd-Nov-2007 01:34 pm (UTC)
Indeed! *imagines his own video nasty*

UGH - the only person connected to that show that I though had any real talent was Jason Alexander, but never actually on the show.
3rd-Nov-2007 10:11 pm (UTC) - Random comments.
I hate Jerry Seinfeld and everything connected to him. That show was so fucking unfunny it defied description.

YES. I agree with this completely. His voice makes me want to poke out my eardrums with really sharp things. Every time I see or hear a commercial for that goddamned Bee Movie, I want to Elvis the TV.

I've never seen a white Christmas, but am going to Columbus, Ohio & Chicago, Illinois for Christmas and have a good chance of it this year.

Well, I live in Columbus, and we rarely get snow around Christmas. But I'd be very very surprised if you didn't have a White Christmas in Chicago. I'd offer to meet up with you, but it's looking like I probably will be in SC for Christmas, visiting my mom.

When I was younger I was convinced that I was going to die before I turned 30 years old.

Yup. Same here, though the magical age was 27. I'm still not sure what I think about the fact that I survived that year. *laughs*

I love hot and spicy food.

Yeeees. Same here. *drool*

I love bowling, but I'm really bad at it and after 2 games my wrist hurts me pretty bad.

*LOL* Yes. I'm the same way. I aim for a perfect score of 0. My best shot ever was when I threw the ball and it went over the gutter bumper into the next lane, where it knocked down all the pins. I'll be proud of that shot forever. *giggle*

I agree with the rap thing. But I love Ice-T. He's part of the reason I got addicted to Law and Order: SVU. Never heard any of his rap, but I love his acting style.

Your mom's obsession with royalty is scary. o.o

I get seriously pissed off if I find someone parked in a handicapped spot - and they aren't handicapped. I leave nasty notes on their car, and taunt the hell out of them.

As one of those handicapped people (though I don't have a placard for my roommates' cars), I deeply thank you for that.

I love water in motion - rivers, oceans, creeks, waterfalls, that sort of thing. The motion and the sound make me relax, and if I have a problem I can think much more clearly.

Same here. I miss living on Lake Superior. :< The water doesn't move that much, compared to an ocean, but it's still the most peaceful place I've ever been.

I tend to laugh at the most inoportune times - the more inopportune the more I lose my shit.

*LOL* I seem to be the same way. I remember having to stifle my laughter at my grandmother's funeral because the pastor's Maine accent was that hilarious to me.

I'm bipolar, but have been off meds for almost 20 years. Sometimes I think I should still be on them.

Wow. I find that really impressive, just because I'm completely reliant on my psych meds. I'm beyond non-functional without them.

What happened to your lungs? You mention having a lot of lung surgery and such. Just curious.

And now, I shut up.
4th-Nov-2007 06:22 pm (UTC) - Re: Random comments.
I love this phrase "Elvis the TV"! That's fantastic.

I really do think I need to be reevaluated for bipolar, because there are times when I feel perfectly 'normal' and others when I have a really hard time just functioning and idling at 'normal'. The meds I was prescribed then aren't even made any longer, so it would be interesting to see what the new findings would bring. Hell, I was shocked even then.
5th-Nov-2007 04:20 am (UTC) - Re: Random comments.
Heh. I picked the whole "Elvis the TV" phrase from a BBS I used to be on.

I was originally diagnosed as Bipolar II after my breakdown. They put me on Tegretol and an antidepressant and it was horrid. The tegretol made me completely fucking numb. I could've been attacked violently and not felt anything. No fight or flight, no need to defend myself, no anything like that. So I took myself off of that shit. And for a long time, I fought the Bipolar II diagnosis, because the doctor I originally saw after my breakdown heard the magic words "My Dad's Bipolar", and stopped listening after that.

I never really got manic. I'd just get overwhelmed and would have periods where I couldn't do anything but pace and mentally twitch. And I was pretty sure that those were related more to my anxiety than anything.

But I definitely had drastic mood swings. My girlfriend convinced me to at least bring up the subject of mood stabilizers with my doctor, since the moods were making my life (and my roommate's lives) a living hell, and my doctor said that there's actually a type of depression that has cycles of getting better and worse.

She put me on Lamictal and it's made a drastic and impressive difference in my life. She has me on a dose that's slightly less than what she'd give a full-fledged bipolar person, but my mood is amazingly stable and the anxiety has significantly lightened. I still have bad mental health days, but they're just bad depression or anxiety days rather than "going from singing happily to wanting to stab my roommates in 2.2 seconds" mood swing days. And I really think my roommates appreciate that. *LOL*

It's definitely easier to deal with depression and anxiety when the mood swings are under control, imho, if just for the fact that you're not constantly getting hit by a mood change just as you're getting a handle on the last one.

I'd also suggest being careful and making sure you're getting the right diagnosis. From what I understand, it's really rare for a true Bipolar person's cycle to be less than 2-3 weeks a cycle. So if your mood is changing on a weekly or daily basis, you might have been misdiagnosed. Also, I think an integral part of Bipolar disorder is that your usual mood state is normal, with spikes and drops in mood. If your usual mood state is depressed, you may want to look into Bipolar II Disorder, Cyclothymia, or Dysthymia.

The thing that sucks about being mentally ill is that there's no real test for it. I've had so many diagnoses slapped on me and, really, it's just a matter of what the doctor I'm seeing thinks I have. This shit would be 10000 times easier if there was just a blood test for it or something. *laughs*

And, ow. Sorry about rambling. *LOL* I've just been dealing with this being mentally ill since I was 8 years old, so I've got a lot to say about it. Feel free to tell me to STFU anytime.
3rd-Nov-2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
"6.I cannot understand how anyone could not love the song "Africa" by Toto."
ooh yeah! i looove that song.. its my joint favourite ever along with jackie wison, lifting me higher and higher.
4th-Nov-2007 06:22 pm (UTC)
Ah, Toto... *rapture*
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