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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
UGH. 
29th-Oct-2006 08:46 pm
Me & D
So.

This morning I stood on a sidewalk as the love of my life was hurling through the sky on a flying metal tube getting smaller and smaller until it was completely gone from view, and I cried and thought to myself how I couldn't remember feeling so alone in all my life, which only made me cry more. I had to stand there for a few minutes so I could get myself together, then came back to the loft where I've been since. This is the part of being in love with someone that really sucks, when you have to be away from them and it is the last thing you want. I'm okay now, but until he called me the second time to say he'd landed in Phoenix I was six different kinds of FEH. Just big, fat, FEH.

Let me tell you, you'd never know how big and empty and lonesome a place this is until you're in it all by yourself, and while I'm not scared or anything like that I just miss him and want Friday to hurry up and get here so he can be home with me - where he's supposed to be. I really hate it when he has to go away for work, particularly when he has to go to the other side of the country.

It was a good day for completely ridiculous television, though! There was a Roseanne Halloween marathon followed by Mommie Dearest, the first ever comedy on child abuse. Now there's a marathon of Scariest Places On Earth, which is just amusing as hell to me for some reason - I suppose because that whole paranormal thing is just lost on me. The episode airing at 9PM is on Čachtice Castle, site of the infamous Blood Countess, Erzsébet Báthory who is said to have torture-murdered over 600 young girls and bathed in their blood to keep herself young. I read the novel The Blood Countess many years ago and have had a bit of fascination with her, so it'll be interesting to see actual footage of the castle remains. I'm interested in it from an architectural standpoint, and the way the show is presented will no doubt entertain once the stupid Americans sent to investigate paranormal activity there start freaking out at everything. To top it iff, the show host is Linda Blair of The Exorcist fame (a film from which Damien got his name, after the proest Father Damien Karras) and narrated by Zelda Rubinstein (Tangina the Clairvoyant from the Poltergeist films, which I loved). "THIS CASTLE IS CLEAN..." I love it.

Then at 10, my beloved Dexter. What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. He's no D, but damn. So back I go to having my brain sucked out by this ridiculous talking box against the wall, and hoping that everyone has a good night and a great tomorrow.
Comments 
30th-Oct-2006 02:26 am (UTC)
This morning I stood on a sidewalk as the love of my life was hurling through the sky on a flying metal tube getting smaller and smaller until it was completely gone from view, and I cried and thought to myself how I couldn't remember feeling so alone in all my life, which only made me cry more. I had to stand there for a few minutes so I could get myself together, then came back to the loft where I've been since. This is the part of being in love with someone that really sucks, when you have to be away from them and it is the last thing you want. I'm okay now, but until he called me the second time to say he'd landed in Phoenix I was six different kinds of FEH. Just big, fat, FEH.

All right, indulge me ONE moment of slash-fangirl weirdness:

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww .....
30th-Oct-2006 02:41 am (UTC)
I know how the "being in love with someone but having to be apart when it's the last thing you want" thing goes, all too well. On the 10th, when I had to leave Gerard (my fiance) in Calgary so I could head back to the Springs (and, unfortunately, back to my mother--not a good person to live with), I barely made it through customs and then security before pulling Flickablankie (the ancient plush unicorn I sleep with--she accompanies me on all plane flights, as I'm scared of flying) out of my carry-on and falling apart.

I'm sure I made a pretty odd picture, walking to the gate clutching this ratty old stuffed animal and crying my eyes out. I had about three hours from the time I went through customs to when the plane took off, and a good hour of that time, if not more, was spent with me in tears 'cause I felt so lonely and missed Gerard so much.

That part of being in love really does suck, ever so much. I do hope Friday does hurry up and get here, so the two of you can be together again. Being apart like that is no fun at all.
30th-Oct-2006 04:24 am (UTC)
I loved me a big chunk of the Halloween Roseannes this afternoon!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeexcellent!
30th-Oct-2006 12:45 pm (UTC)
you are a big mushy ball of goo
30th-Oct-2006 05:26 pm (UTC)
I have a hard time when my partner is away too.

Oh, BTW, thanks a lot for getting me hooked on "Dexter"!
30th-Oct-2006 06:03 pm (UTC)
Definitely shows how much you care for D. Do you realize how many people envy a situation like that? Take some comfort in that if you can.

{{HUGS}}
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