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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
Just Unbelievable 
25th-Jun-2002 08:27 am
This is just way too much for one person to deal with at one time.

I went to my Uncle Kelly's funeral yesterday, I rode with my brother and sisters. They told me that my stepmother, Marcia, has been diagnosed with the onset of Alzheimer's disease, which is a completely horrifying and terrifying illness. I cannot even talk about that one right now.

The plan was to go to the funeral and then go to the nursing home to visit my Grandmother, who was ill with cancer herself. We went to the funeral at 11, and my father called us on the drive up to tell us he was flying in to Atlanta and getting a rental and would be on the way soon. It is about a 40 minute drive to Rome, where these relatives live. He was going to see about his mother first and would meet us at the graveside service. While at the funeral, my brother Mark got a call from my father on his cellphone and talked to my sisters. They in turn found me and my oldest sister Lucy came to me, crying beside my sister Shay (who was crying hysterically), hugged me and whispered into my ear "Daddy just called - Grandmother died about 5 minutes ago."

I ran outside of the funeral home and have no idea what happened over the next few minutes until we had to make quick apologies for having to leave so soon. People were consoling us and all I wanted was to NOT be touched.

I wanted to be where my Daddy was, that was all I wanted. We saw him for a while and then went to see my oldest Aunt, the next one I'm sure to lose as she is homebound with her cancer. While we were there, my Aunt Lila - my complete familial nemesis, the one member of my family I care N O T H I N G for comes in and in the process of making small talk she says to me, totally emotionlessly, "You DO know that your Grandmother just died, don't you?"

I am still in disbelief.

This is just way too much to deal with at once. I need sleep.
Comments 
25th-Jun-2002 07:00 am (UTC) - My heart is breaking for you...
I am so sorry. I'm here.
25th-Jun-2002 07:45 am (UTC) - Re: My heart is breaking for you...
Thank you, honey - it's just really bad cosmic timing and I need some safe distance from everything. This upcoming weekend in Atlanta will do me good, I can get away and get out and about. I appreciate you thinking of me and will see you this evening if you come to go walking. By the way, that parking lot is closed now for construction so we'll have to park somewhere else for the time being. Maybe in front of the Hilton in that row of spaces on 8th street?
25th-Jun-2002 08:39 am (UTC) - Re: My heart is breaking for you...
I know that area. That's not too bad a place to park, providing there is actual space to park in. I'll be out there tonight.
25th-Jun-2002 07:08 am (UTC)
"heeeey jude, don't make it bad...take a saaaad soooong and make it better"

jude..i don't know what to say..i don't know how to describe you..i don't wanna say best friend, i don't wanna say older brother type..i just don't know..you've been there for me..time and time again, you've taken me under your wing and helped me learn..i don't know what you see in me, but i'm glad it's there..just know that if you EVER need me for anything, i'll do what i can to help..i'm there for you as you are for me..
25th-Jun-2002 07:47 am (UTC)
Thank you, John - I'm very lucky that I have such fine and supportive friends as you. We're all going to be okay, a little time will go by and we'll be on to new things.
25th-Jun-2002 09:47 am (UTC)
You know I love you very much, and would do anything for you to help. If there's anything you need, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask me. That's part of why I'm here you know...

Thinking of you fondly,

Damien

5
25th-Jun-2002 12:35 pm (UTC) - Your in my prayers...
You are not the religious type. I know that about you. Maybe in my case it's a weakness but when bad things happen I need something to believe in. I have had a rough year (as have you). At time like this I need my faith in God. In the past few weeks I have put more and more into God. I will pray for you tonight and tomorrow and everyday until i feel God has listened. That may not mean anything to you, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about you.


With love,
Aimee
25th-Jun-2002 05:49 pm (UTC) - hey..
Wow. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I just lost one of my childhood best friends. Of course I'm not trying to say he was my BEST friend ever or anything cause that would be a lie, in fact I hadn't spoken to him in years. Of course this is not my point at all. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you, and from what I know of you youre going to be ok so long as the sun comes up tomorrow. I too like Aimee am the religious type and know that you are not, however I'm still keeping your feelings and being in my prayers. Well...maybe that's all I can say for now..well that and this "the sun will come out, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow..." you know the rest I am sure...Annie always makes me smile...and smiles are good...

Love,
Kel
25th-Jun-2002 07:39 pm (UTC)
wow, things never happen one at a time, do they? jude, i'm really sorry that you have so much going on right now. it sucks that bad things always happen to good people, know what i mean? whether it means anything to you or not, you're in my prayers, and i truly hope things get better for you. love ya, honey! =)
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