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Am I taking crazy pills? 
23rd-Feb-2005 07:38 am
More Stupid American Fundies Imposing Unsolicited Will Of God On Canadian Parliament
This article alone begs the question "How can God be real if these are the people he hires to do his PR work?"
Source: CNEWS [Link]

Of course the highlight of the article for me personally is this gem:
Ellen Wyman says she's just exercising an important prerogative.

An American citizen married to a Canadian, Wyman has lived in London, Ont., for 33 years and has been writing letters for weeks to gay marriage supporters in Parliament.

"Sometimes the government needs to be told what to do," Wyman said from Cleveland, where she has been dealing with a family illness.

"The United States is the great nation it is because of its moral code. Canada isn't even considered a Christian nation anymore and they seem OK with that. It's more of a melting pot. That doesn't make any sense to me."
Just as soon as I can find contact info for this stupid, delusional fuckstain, she's getting the following letter. I'm not sure there are enough antibiotics on the planet for this rebuttal, but here goes.

Ellen. Oh, Ellen.

You insipid fucking cumsponge. I am amazed that you manage to walk around all day without soiling your pants, drooling on your shirt and bumping into walls every five feet. How in the fuck is it possible for a person like you to be this un-goddamned-believably fucking stupid and yet somehow you manage to turn a computer on and off without electrocuting yourself?

The way you retarded fucks twitter on madly just baffles the living bejesus outta me. What deep and dark crevice of your twisted and tortured little solar powered cranium gave unholy birth to this abortion of logic? I'm a marching, protesting, letter writing, card carrying ACLU member, you spittle lipped cum gargler. This letter drips of freedom of speech and protection of the rights of individuals. Which malfunctioning synapse of yours fired off this ingenious barb? (see above quote) Perhaps you should send that little eroded brain cell off the cliff right behind all the other dead little lemming brain cells you have at your command.

How in the FUCK can you dream up a grand enough fantasy in your little short circuited punkin' head to convince yourself that YOU, of all people on this planet, actually have any merit at all when claiming to know what God's plan is? It is just so disgustingly pitiful that your stupid ass is the best spokesman on earth that such a powerful, universe spanning deity can come up with. The louder the echo in your empty heads, the more you dimwits think you know God's plan or the correct path a true believer should follow. The stench of stupidity wafting up off of you fundamentalist, shitforbrains fuckflows chokes me damn near to death.

Just show me ONE goddamned thing in this vapid fantasy diatribe of opinion that would give any credence to you telling ANY-goddamn-body about the rotting of society. YOU, you stupid shit, are a functionally illiterate, eleven fingered, sibling fucking, inbred, banjo picking nitwit who's living proof that cousins shouldn't fuck. You are the poster child for the "Don't Sniff Inhalants" campaign. The next time your snake dancing preacher clogs his way over to you with a Big Gulp sized Mason jar of strychnine, I beg of you to chug it and not sip as a testament to your faith. Go for the gold and run towards the light, Ellen - don't walk, RUN!

You have the unmittigated gall to make a baseless assertion about Canada no longer considering itself a Christian Nation, throwing out the implication that the United States ever has, even using the phrase "melting pot" as if it were someone farting in church. Consider the idealism that drove a sect of the English to steal found this country, Ellen. Were you this incensed about the Taliban regime? Ever hear of the other lovely points in history like the Inquisition or the Reformation?

Your god has to be just so wholly embarrassed and ashamed of you right now. Imagine what a shining example of Christianity you are. Clearly you do not have any idea that every time you open your mouth all you do is make yourself and your religion look like complete shit. If there were any justice in this matter, you'd be brought out on television and bitchslapped by the resurrected Tertullian himself.

The fucking dumber they are, the louder they preach. You Fundies would all be better off if you shut the fuck up and stopped wearing your ignorance like a gleaming badge of honor.

Most sincerely, with love and bunnehs,
Jude Bennett

Please send all further correspondence regarding this matter to

</i>Good morning, LiveJournal!
23rd-Feb-2005 12:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Canada has enough of its own fundies and wingnuts, we don't need foreign ones as well. ;)
23rd-Feb-2005 12:54 pm (UTC)
clarifying: this thank you encompasses the last post you made about US twits sending hate money to Canada to fund the anti-gay marriage movement. I love you for this.
23rd-Feb-2005 12:58 pm (UTC)
Again, you are welcome - and I love you back.
23rd-Feb-2005 12:57 pm (UTC)
You are quite welcome!
23rd-Feb-2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
There used to be a time where it was considered a good thing to be a nation to be melting pot... that doesn't have a negative connotation, or at least it that wasn't the way it used to be =(
23rd-Feb-2005 01:06 pm (UTC)
You are correct, but then you have these inbred shitstains like fundies and racists who have no clue about their own country's history or how it was built, touting this nonsense like it's something so simple and pure, wondering why society at large looks at them (rightly so) like they're fucking crazy.

Did you notice from the article that our girl here was interviewed from her home... IN CLEVELAND? I thought about you when I read that. No worries, if it comes down to it, I shall personally dispatch the foe and take you to a celebratory luncheon.
23rd-Feb-2005 01:11 pm (UTC)
lol - she's being treated for a family condition? I bet you she's at UH or Cleveland Clinic, where all them fags in medicine work, too.
23rd-Feb-2005 01:14 pm (UTC)
There are two cures for Fundamentalism. One is a full lobotomy, the other is being reunited in Heaven with Jesus. There is no cure for stupidity however, and unfortunately it isn't fatal. Or at the very least, painful.
23rd-Feb-2005 01:16 pm (UTC)
Damn, I forgot the third cure for Fundamentalism, the one with the highest sucess rate - 250 MG of Logic, 250 MG of Reason, and 500 MG of Reality.
23rd-Feb-2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
Ever just wish that the Rapture would hurry the fuck up and happen?
23rd-Feb-2005 08:34 pm (UTC)
Daily, yes.
23rd-Feb-2005 03:21 pm (UTC) - The Fetid Melting Pot
Damn those foreigners... What kind of American would say that? Perhaps if one were of the Sioux or Pawnee tribe they would have the right to say that in this country. But for fuck's sake, barring the natives, aren't we ALL from "foreign" stock? Didn't we all come here to not be supressed by persons of Ellen's ilk?

23rd-Feb-2005 05:00 pm (UTC) - Re: The Fetid Melting Pot
What a shame common sense isn't contagious!
23rd-Feb-2005 03:15 pm (UTC) - Ja Wohl, Ellen, Meine Liebling!!!
Perhaps Ellen would be happier and safer in a place where everyone was of the same race and of the same mind-set ( the strains of Deutchland, Deutchland, Uber Alles wafting in the background) and of the same moral mettle...
23rd-Feb-2005 05:01 pm (UTC) - Re: Ja Wohl, Ellen, Meine Liebling!!!
I vote we feed her and those of her ilk to the Fundie terrorists.
23rd-Feb-2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
Umm thanks for the giggle,cackle,pepsi spitting enjoyment. You think and type so clearly .
23rd-Feb-2005 08:35 pm (UTC)
23rd-Feb-2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
I was going to tell you that maybe you wanted to tone down the tone of the letter so you don't sound crazy, but keep it mind that I agree wholeheartedly.

Besides, she's the idiot who told a newspaper she fears brown people.
23rd-Feb-2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
Truth be told, it'll most likely sit here on LJ. I say that because I'm having no luck locating contact info for her.

When you deal with a fundamentalist, there are only two options. The first is to ignore them completely and hope that they'll go away, as any argument you enter with them is completely futile - you will have more sucess arguing with a cockring.

The other option is to say what you want to say to them, and fuck all. At least that way you give justice to the way you feel and it gives a voice to anyone that they've ever trampled upon. I do not necessarily advocate attacking any and all fundies, just the ones who ask for it.
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