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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
So I write. 
17th-Jan-2005 12:19 pm
Last night at dinner with the family, my cousin Billy (Damien's cousin, therefore mine as well) and his new bride Melissa met us and we all spent a little time together afterward. They were taking a break from the rush to pack up their belongings in preparation for their move. Tomorrow, Billy leaves for Kuwait. He's been stationed in Iraq for a minimum of a year, possibly a year and a half, and in two weeks time he will be in Baghdad for the duration of his deployment there. In a little around a week, Melissa will be heading home to her parents house in Kansas City and begin the wait that hopefully ends in her husband coming home to her alive and unharmed. The reality of this war has always been profound for me being that I live in a military town, about 15 minutes from the largest army training base in the country. It is all around me. Seldom can I go anywhere in town and not see several soldiers. This one is different, though. This one is my family.

How many of them have I spoken to in passing that have already been casualties in this war? How many friends have I made and lost touch with that are already dead or wounded and I may never know about it? It felt different when I listened to my friend Charlie, who was one of the first casualties in Iraq, telling me stories about the things happening in and around Baghdad, and how he and another friend were the first casualties interviewed on Good Morning America and getting a heroes' attention "until that Jessica Lynch took it from us, that cockblocker!" It felt surreal seeing the scar from his bullet wound and thinking to myself that he endured that for me, for us all. I even thanked him for his service, which he shrugged off politely in favor of the home movies he was showing us. Sitting there in the restaurant last night trying to ignore the annoying mariachi band thundering behind our table, I wondered to myself when would be the next time we would be able to do this together again. Would we be able to ever do this again? Nothing I do right now makes me feel any sense of comfort about it. So I write.

I want to make something perfectly clear. Billy has chosen a job that protects the very freedom I have - that we ALL have, that enables me to say what I want to say. That allows me to live in a country where I can have a say in democracy and agree or disagree if I choose. I respect and support our armed servicemen and women with a conviction so strong that it damn near wrecks me. The people in charge, however, get no such respect or support.

It is very ironic that I write all of this today when there are so many things weighing in on both my heart and mind. Fresh on the heels of my experience with the older black lady on Friday and the ensuing commentary on racism here in the south, I had another experience yesterday that made my blood run cold and my stomach lurch over. I, along with countless others, view the confederate flag as something symbolic of a time in history that embraced and advocated racism. I've lost friends over this issue, I've had countless fights over it, and the only thing all of that served to do was stiffen my resolve. I'm almost glad when a racist wears their ignorance like a gleaming badge of honor, and yesterday I happened to see such an act. Directly in front of us, displayed on the rear of a car windshield in the form of the most disgusting bumpersticker I've ever seen was a slogan sandwiched between two confederate flags. It read "I RIDE WITH FORREST". For those of you that may be unaware of it, Nathan Bedford Forrest was one of the founding members of the KKK and ammassed a fortune as a slave trader and plantation owner.

Here I am, the day before MLK Day, a gay white man in the south confronted with something like this. All I can think about is what Dr. King would be like were he not murdered by one of these cowardly fucks. I came home last night and read some of the things he had to say in his tragically short life and took every word to heart. This morning I read a story in the Marin Independent Journal titled "King family split reflects societal debate over gay marriage" that completely gave me pause. I cannot imagine Dr. King being in support of the FMA or of the DOMA (which, incidentally, was introduced to the house by former Georgia Republican congressman Bob Barr, who now - and someone please explain THIS to me - is now a speaker and consultant for organizations like the ACLU). Homo say what the fuck? I suppose none of this really matters now in light of a new development this morning. This one is good, I can hardly stand it. Bush just fucked over his entire Fundamentalist support base yesterday in an interview that was published in the Washington Post. Apparently this is being refuted by the White House in the NY Times article that ran this morning. My personal opinion is that the assholes deserved it for not only being so fucking mean and stupid in the name of God, but for reelecting this weak bastard that has now bent them over and dry fucked them in their collective asses. "Thanks for your vote on this promise, but fuck you now that I got my job back". Nice. The irony here is staggering. I'm almost proud of him.

Back to cousin Billy getting shipped off to fight in this totally unjustifiable war that has killed or wounded thousands of people and divided the world, setting many former American allies against us, to say nothing of the unanswered questions and scandals accompanying this war that have only made that problem worsen. People who have served before are in a better position to ask these questions, and there are two veteran's groups I reccommend. One is Veterans Against the Iraq War, the other is Veterans for Common Sense.

Something else to consider, the fact that Condoleezza Rice will be sworn in on Inauguration Day as Secretary of State [story: NY Times]. Beginning tomorrow, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee will begin what could stretch to two full days of questioning her about almost every aspect of her past performance and future plans. I'm hoping they hold her feet to the fire to ask her questions like:
  • Why did the United States go to war in Iraq based on misleading -- if not false and fraudulent -- evidence?
  • Why did we divert valuable resources and intelligence personnel to Iraq, taking them away from Afghanistan and the pursuit of Osama bin Laden?
  • Why did you mislead the American people into thinking there was a connection between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaida before September 11th?

For your part, you can sign Senator Barbara Boxer's petition to hold her accountable for her misleading statements leading up to the Iraq war and beyond before we can even consider promoting her to Secretary of State.
Comments 
17th-Jan-2005 05:30 pm (UTC)
Well done.

I hope I'm wrong, but I think our Congessmen will totally roll over for Condi.
17th-Jan-2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
I expect the same, but like you I hope for better.
17th-Jan-2005 05:38 pm (UTC)
I agree with you 100% about That Flag...
I live in a small town in Alabama, and I see That Flag on cars, in yards, on clothing and jewelry.... it disgust me to no end.

I work at a school, and had no idea how racist(ignorant) the parents were! I've been asked all day WHY we were off for MLK day, and when I tell them they roll their eyes and stomp off.... It's insane.


I'll not even touch the solider issue, I have uncles, cousins and aunts over there, and it confuses me to know end....how they choose this career for themselves.... My uncles been back and fourth since '01, injured-healed-shipped back out-injured-healed-back again.... but he defends it all... I just don't get it?
17th-Jan-2005 05:59 pm (UTC)
It's like a knife in my heart that my own niece (who admittedly is very naive) is one of the people you describe.
17th-Jan-2005 05:48 pm (UTC)
I just wanted to say, becasue I've been meaning to say it for a while, that I love reading your posts. You always have such a clear, burning passion for truth, justice, and the American way -- the real meaning of that phrase, not the way it's usually warped to mean -- and I love the way you are clearly fed up with things and have this burning, tremendous need to say something, and manage to articulate it so clearly.

So, yeah :)
17th-Jan-2005 05:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks, D! Coming from you, that means a great deal to me. I have to tell you though, that while this comes very naturally to me I was initially inspired by you and ladysisyphus to make these kinds of posts. Funny, huh? One of these days she'll come around to reading my journal, and I hope enjoy it as much as I enjoy reading and being challenged by hers.
17th-Jan-2005 05:59 pm (UTC)
I love reading your journal for a lot of the same reasons as I love reading hers. You both manage to make me look at things in a different light on a regular basis.
17th-Jan-2005 06:23 pm (UTC)
Excellent!! That's part of the idea in writing news/opinion pieces for me, to serve as a repository for what I felt relevant at the time and to inform others on my f'list.

Once I can get W2 to friend me, I shall be unstoppable... ::throws head back, clasps hands as if in prayer, laughs "The Plan" laugh evilly::
17th-Jan-2005 06:00 pm (UTC)
For those of us that would love to write but for whatever reason dont...Keep writing.

Thank You
17th-Jan-2005 06:24 pm (UTC)
And for those of us who would love to kick rugger ass but alas cannot, keep playing.

And thank you.
(Deleted comment)
20th-Jan-2005 01:11 pm (UTC)
Whether he does or not, I'm more concerned with the influence he has on others - in particular the disenfranchised people that already border on their own hate groups.

I just learned that we have a white supremacist group living reasonably close to me, with their own church.
20th-Jan-2005 05:07 am (UTC)
I can't say anything other than I Love You boys. My heart has been ripped out and stomped upon with this deployment.
20th-Jan-2005 01:09 pm (UTC)
I love you too. I'm right there with you.
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