This weekend was kind of "The Suck". Very emotional for almost everyone on some level or another, and also very long and tedious. I'm not going into details, because frankly a lot of this I need to work on forgetting.
I made up my mind early this morning that I need to cook a lot this week. Cooking gives me balance and a sense of peace and order in an otherwise chaotic world. Plus, it's right in keeping with my nurturing side to feed people satisfying and really good home cooked meals. It is getting a bit cooler here finally, and when the weather starts getting cooler I begin to crave spicy food and lots of soups and stews. Nothing fits that ideal better than Cajun, and for variety I'm also doing Cuban. I made up my shopping list, and so I could have a little time away from the house and my worries this afternoon I did the only thing I enjoy more than actually cooking - grocery shopping.
Being that I'm thrifty and have learned how to keep a pretty well stocked pantry, I only spent $60 and came home with enough food to make the four meals I'm cooking this week, which will also be enough to generate leftovers for lunch. Here's what I'm making:
Chicken & Andouille Sausage Gumbo
- not a DAMNED thing, it's my Birthday and I'm eating sushi until I go fucking blind
Chipotle Barbecued Pork
- mixed green salad
Red Beans & Rice
- Caesar Salad
Black Bean Soup
- Mushroom and roasted green chile quesadillas
All of these recipes will eventually go on my cookbook website
, I promise. I'm going to take lots of pictures of everything being prepared to go into the recipe pages as well, in keeping with the rest of the site.
I have to say something else here as well, because it is important that I not only share this with him but in such a way that everyone can know it as well. Damien, I love you more and more all of the time - I want you to know that. I cannot explain to you how much better you have made me feel today. You know how difficult it is for me to cry in front of people, even (and especially) when it comes from frustration, and even when the person is you. Simply reaching over to hold my hand when I broke down and lost it and not saying a single word was just what I needed. What you did was exactly what the timing in that situation needed, and I love and respect you so much
because of that. It would only be someone who knows me as well as you do to know how to react to me in a situation when I feel most vulnerable, and you made me feel grounded and hopeful that this will all get better in that simple, yet powerful gesture.
My hope for anyone reading this is for you all to have for yourselves someone who makes you feel as lucky, as honored, and as completely loved as I do. I arrive at this realization where he is concerned every couple of months, but this time it is the best gift I could be given right now. I am most grateful.