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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
Yeah, pretty much just as I figured 
25th-May-2004 10:28 pm
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY


  • 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell

  • 6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

  • 6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

  • 6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

  • 6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies-Voodoo/DooDoo WMD

  • 7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

  • 7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

  • 7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury-It's what's for dinner!

  • 8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

  • 8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

  • 8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your Children!!

  • 8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

  • 8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the Future

  • 9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

  • 9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

  • 9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

  • 9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

  • 10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

  • 10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

  • 10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

  • 10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

  • 10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt

  • 10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans

  • 10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

  • 10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's Economy

  • 11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata

  • 11:20 PM 2nd Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult

  • 11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

  • 11:35 PM Blame Clinton

  • 11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

  • 11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself, directed by Mel Gibson.

  • 12: 00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Comments 
25th-May-2004 07:35 pm (UTC) - *hides*
daddy republicans are scary!!!!
26th-May-2004 07:19 am (UTC) - Re: *hides*
Fear not, frightened child! ::dispatches Jesse Helms and Marilyn Musgrave in one fell swoop::
25th-May-2004 08:41 pm (UTC)
Hilary might just get a break now that she's all "oooh, we have to re-enact the draft!" and shiznit.

Of course, Bill still should have been impeached. I mean, we can't have anything other than a Republican in the White House. That would be wrong. Viva legal coup d'etats!"
26th-May-2004 07:20 am (UTC)
The icon says it all...
26th-May-2004 05:10 am (UTC) - ::pisses self::
You are just wrong!
26th-May-2004 07:20 am (UTC) - Re: ::pisses self::
but for all the "right" reasons...
26th-May-2004 10:06 am (UTC) - Re: ::pisses self::
lol
26th-May-2004 06:14 am (UTC)
What's a beer bong?
26th-May-2004 07:20 am (UTC)
How should I know - I'm not a Republican.
26th-May-2004 10:04 am (UTC) - Again...
You are just wrong. You are the drummer from Pearl Jam. (If you get that joke you move on to the lightning round)
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