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BACK DOOR BOY IN A FRONT DOOR WORLD
OUTSIDE OF SOCIETY - THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE
I'm not apologizing for one word of my last post. 
1st-Apr-2003 03:25 pm
If I didn't love you people, in spite of how furious I am, I wouldn't bother. I am still very highly upset over the reasons I said what I said in the first place. You guys haven't been there to hear her cries, you haven't been there when you should have been. THAT is why I'm pissed. In two weeks you could have managed more than enough time and you didn't. I would feel the same way if it were you in the same situation, each of you should know that. That's what this is all about.

The agreement was to keep petty, insignificant shit off of LiveJournal, NOT calling out what amounts to ignoring a suicidal friend. What kind of friend would I be to any of YOU that was made to feel like she feels and I looked the other way?

You're getting pissed at me before even going to her to apologize and understanding why I'm upset with you. That makes NO sense to me.

It comes to this - I've been nothing but supportive of each of you until now, and have not once failed you as a friend. I'm pissed because you have let one of our family members down, and yet I've overstepped MY boundaries. Where are your priorities? If you at least tried to make it up to her, there would be no anger on my part. What good are you doing her, yourselves, or me for that matter? I'm supposed to just button my lip like it doesn't matter? Please.
Comments 
1st-Apr-2003 01:00 pm (UTC) - you're WELL in bounds
you're right. i don't understand how anyone could POSSIBLY find an excuse or argue it.. we suck at bein TRUE friends..

i've honestly ben caught up in my own drama and childishness, so i haven't taken tha tme for anyone (outside of DIRECT FAMILY).. and that's a sorry thing to do..

but to say you've stepped over bounds, thats stupid.
1st-Apr-2003 08:45 pm (UTC) - Re: you're WELL in bounds
For your part Charlie, I know you were there on one of the nights when she was so sick she couldn't get up. You saw how bad it was, and you know she wasn't acting for attention. You're trying to be there and making an effort and Renea thinks highly of you, just like I always have. Thank you for getting the point.
2nd-Apr-2003 01:18 pm (UTC) - Re: you're WELL in bounds
i'm an inadequate friend, always have been..

i'm tha guy you spend a little time with when you're out of OTHER friends, and after we hang out, i don't expect to hear from someone for days, weeks, months, years..

that's tha way i've been accustomed to bein' with people, i don't hold it against them anymore, it's as much me as them..

i'm there if you ask me..
1st-Apr-2003 01:31 pm (UTC)
i thought i've been at LEAST a decent friend to Renea..during the whole Nate thing i tried to be as supportive as possible, taking her for walks and such..when her brother was in the hospital, Pam and I were there every day ALL day..when she was stuck at her parent's house watching Jason and Dennis, Pam and I did our best to be there and keep her company..and just because i don't have the money to "adequately compensate" doesn't mean i don't try to be a friend, because i do..i've done my best to be what i can to anyone around me, so there's no reason to say i haven't been a friend to her..and by the way, her money's coming soon, probably today..
(by the way, this reply is just in case ANY of your post was about me, which i'm sure it was)
1st-Apr-2003 08:38 pm (UTC)
John, you moved out and left the house without her knowledge and without saying a word - not one word to her when she was at her worst. You wrote "It's been swell, house" on the board, and you left without saying anything to her directly. That was shady. Don't get me started on money you don't "have", it will only lead to a discussion on money you don't "earn".

1st-Apr-2003 11:51 pm (UTC) - well..
actually, we told her about us leaving..and in fact, it was with many words - MANY WORDS that we talked her through alot of things..whether or not it sunk in is not my problem, but at least i tried, you know? and let me ask you, what fucking business is it of yours about the money i don't "have" OR the money that i "earn", and what business is it of yours to even comment on it? lemme guess, you'll say something like "i'm just trying to be there for a friend" or some bullshit like that, but you're -yes, YOU, almighty one- are instigating ALL this drama..you say people need to grow up and quit fighting, etc, but you are just as guilty as everyone else..goddamn, i'm just as tired of seeing you post about someone else as you are of me posting..difference is, i post about shit that i am directly involved in, whereas you just jump RIGHT in the fucking middle of it..if there was something between Ryno, Aimee and Renea, why couldn't you have just let THEM work it out? because you just HAD to be in the middle of it..i know you mean well for everyone, but sometimes - and i know this is gonna sting - sometimes you JUST AREN'T NEEDED..now, if you've a problem with me, you are more than welcome to come to me and talk it out, as you so often suggest..but leave my name and comments that are directly aimed at me OUT of your bullshit..i've been sitting idle letting this drama unfold and i was content not being in it, but you brought me here, and now i'm here to stay..
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