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15th-Aug-2011 05:57 pm
Double Barrelled
OMG, you guys. you guys, OMG. VRY SRS BZNS.

Okay. The following transpired on the Facething between a guy I went to school with and myself. It's hilarious right out of the gate, but it gets so much better. Like 'don't be drinking or eating anything when you read this' better.

Pretty amusing stuff - and THEN he went and private messaged me the following:

Okay. This is the point where I cannot tell him that I'll be back in December because he deletes me from his FB *and* blocks me from commenting back, illustrating (with no help from me, I might add) that he is indeed a fucking pussy. You'd have to be to e-Threaten someone, no one who really intends to do it gives even a cursory warning.

Since I couldn't respond directly to him, I posted this on my own FB page:

This post is public because I, do not, give a fuck.

Now I'm hungry.
16th-Aug-2011 01:01 am (UTC)
Oh, I love you so. So so much.
16th-Aug-2011 01:09 am (UTC)
...and I you, sweetness. How you bees, anyway? Been a long time!
16th-Aug-2011 03:19 pm (UTC)
It's been the saga of starting a kid in kindergarten and discovering the separation anxiety we knew existed could bloom into something truly awful. Luckily, I think we're on our way out of the crisis point - but had a rough night last night. Sleep depped - ah, the default setting of the parent.
16th-Aug-2011 01:08 am (UTC)
I adore you. So fucking much. So.fucking.much.
16th-Aug-2011 01:12 am (UTC)
As I do you, baby doll. Isn't it especially amusing when they do all the work for you to make your own point? A certain type comes to mind... I'm thinking another name that begins with the letter "D"... Oh, you know who I'm talking about, right? Bother of the Year?

16th-Aug-2011 01:18 am (UTC)
I may know someone of that description... ;)
16th-Aug-2011 01:19 am (UTC)
Sadly, yes you do. But hey, you got one of the most amazing things ever out of it, so there's always that!
16th-Aug-2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Agreed. I wouldn't change anything that would deny me G, but man oh man it takes a lot of alcohol to deal with him. ;)
16th-Aug-2011 02:54 am (UTC)
Yeah - I feel you, sister. Remember, I have to take crazy pills on top of CHILL THE FUCK OUT pills just to function. Of course, there might be a day or two when I'm back in GA where I forget to take something. I sure hope it's not the anti-psychotic.
16th-Aug-2011 01:16 am (UTC)
Hahahaha!!! This demonstrates perfectly one of the things I love the most about you! You are tough in all the right places and ways! : )

16th-Aug-2011 01:17 am (UTC)
Funnily enough, Cate - I thought about you when I decided to cap the first comment, because I figured it's what you'd have done. ;-)
16th-Aug-2011 01:16 am (UTC)
Of all the days to be without popcorn in my apartment...
16th-Aug-2011 01:17 am (UTC)
Did you lol?
16th-Aug-2011 01:28 am (UTC)
I may have lost it just a little bit when I got to the PM ;)
16th-Aug-2011 02:34 am (UTC)
That was the part where I almost lost bladder control.
16th-Aug-2011 01:27 am (UTC)
Please, please, go find this douchebag when you're home and give him the ass-kicking he deserves. And have D film it. If ever any fighting event deserved my epic scampi, with your choice of lemon mousse cake or crispy fudge for dessert, this would be it.
16th-Aug-2011 02:08 am (UTC)
Life has already kicked this guys ass in a lot of ways, to be fair. I have no interest in pursuing this further, I simply documented it because I thought it was what he deserved. I am not the type to throw the first punch, but if it comes down to it, and someone throws it at me, I have NO kill switch. They either learn or they don't, and if they don't want to learn anything, it's pretty much done.

I do want those eats, though!

16th-Aug-2011 02:17 am (UTC)

Well, I've promised my niece and nephew I'd come back to Phoenix for Christmas. I'll make this and bring it over, since I never kept my promise to see you once you moved to Tempe.

16th-Aug-2011 01:28 am (UTC)
Oh god, I can't stop laughing!
16th-Aug-2011 02:08 am (UTC)
I couldn't either for most of the day just because of the absurdity of it all!
16th-Aug-2011 01:34 am (UTC)
Oh. Oh. This...is just...perfect.
(Not to mention too twisted for color TV.)
16th-Aug-2011 02:10 am (UTC)
I'm a fair man. If you ever see this sort of thing coming from me, and you already know this I'm sure, they had it coming.
16th-Aug-2011 01:46 am (UTC)
Jesus rollerblading Christ. I got as far as "He's a communist and a socialist!" and wanted to reach through time and space to shake the person that said it until the stupid falls out. But upon further thought, my arms would get awfully tired and sore long before that'd happen.

The rest of this? Pure gold.
16th-Aug-2011 02:11 am (UTC)
I know, right? That's why I added Marxism and fascism to the list of things parroted from Freepers everywhere.
16th-Aug-2011 02:14 am (UTC)
Oh, and let us not forget the firm belief that any type of Socialist policy or leanings is automatically a Nazi affiliated situation. If I think too hard about all of this, blood will shoot right out of my nose.
16th-Aug-2011 02:01 am (UTC) - OMG
SRSLY. For a second, this guy sounded like my dad!
16th-Aug-2011 02:12 am (UTC) - Re: OMG
Mine too, once upon a time. Now we just refuse to discuss politics with each other, problem solved.
16th-Aug-2011 02:27 am (UTC) - Re: OMG
Mine won't stop discussing it with me. So I've just sent all of his emails to my spam folder and muted him on FB>
16th-Aug-2011 02:24 am (UTC)
He and what army are going to kick your motherfuckin' ass?

16th-Aug-2011 02:32 am (UTC)
I have no way of knowing since he won't allow me to ask, but I think it's a safe bet that it was his labia talking.
16th-Aug-2011 02:34 am (UTC)

And yes, holy fuck, I majorly LOLed. Gawd, this sounds just like my aunt's husband, who can do nothing but parrot whatever Faux Noise tells him to parrot.
16th-Aug-2011 02:37 am (UTC)
HAHAHA!!! I was wondering if you'd chime in!

16th-Aug-2011 12:58 pm (UTC)
The bullshit about unions is what floors me about my aunt and her husband. This aunt is a daughter of my late-grandfather-I-look-like, my grandfather who was a proud member of the United Mine Workers of America for most of his working life as a coal miner. The UMWA, who likely saved my grandfather's life after one of his brothers was killed in 1940 in one of the worst mining disasters in the U.S. to that date thanks to their demands for safer workplaces for miners.

I. Just. Don't. Get. It.
16th-Aug-2011 03:18 am (UTC) - I LOVE THIS ! ! !
I almost rolled backwards off my exercise ball... LOL
16th-Aug-2011 03:43 am (UTC)
Just when I think my platonic crush on your brain couldn't grow any more, you prove me wrong.
16th-Aug-2011 06:53 am (UTC)
This, of course, is hilarious, and these sorts need to be in their place more often. However, I find it sad in some ways because there are SO MANY PEOPLE EXACTLY LIKE THIS ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE and it drives me insane.

But do film the ass-kicking. That is, when you kick his.
16th-Aug-2011 09:14 am (UTC)
My Grandma described people like this. "They just have to be contrary."

He's obviously dumb. And he is just wanting to look bad assy. And most people won't contradict someone who is obviously on a rant.
I'm glad you did.
Let me know when you go home. I wanna come visit and taunt him as you suck his dick.

hehe....I said assy.
16th-Aug-2011 01:21 pm (UTC)
You are seventeen kinds of awesome.
Thanks for this.
And I hope you do kick his ass.
16th-Aug-2011 04:13 pm (UTC)
OMG I can't even with this....what a fucking TOOL.
17th-Aug-2011 12:02 am (UTC)
I love you, man...

Honestly, I never post on your blog because you don't know me from Adam, but I've been following you for years and I always get a kick out of your posts. This one is a classic! LOL!!!! Food and drink warning was seriously appreciated.
17th-Aug-2011 08:34 pm (UTC)
He won't be able to see what you post after he blocked you.

Unless he uses a fake (or somebody else's) profile for that purpose.
18th-Aug-2011 03:36 am (UTC)
Hell hath no fury as someone-you've-sexted scorned... ;)
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